I WAS ALMOST READY TO CLICK PUBLISH
but then... alas. I did not.
Okay SO I have been working on a piece that is really fun! About how I don’t think that food should be funny and how silly I think the concept of this new restaurant Patti Ann’s is. School-themed! Some vague classroom nostalgia! Wtf! So silly. Obviously, I go off. It’s honestly almost ready to go, and I was about to click “Publish”, but I stopped. It may be for tomorrow, but I’ve decided it is not for today.
We live in a world that is beautiful in so many ways that I am stunned at the cruelty. It feels too hard and unnecessary to publish a piece today that touches on a school-themed restaurant when, beats ago, a school was the location of something so deeply violent.
Usually with tragic news (and this is a privilege, I know!) I read all headlines but not always full stories. I’ll gather information in content but not color, because I… have an active imagination, and sometimes knowing too much will not allow me to deal with the information productively or gracefully. The consideration begins to feel like some dark waterfall, loud and rushing. This was one tragic thing, and we must admit there is so much bad. I could list all the things I’m thinking about, and hyperlink, and hyper-post—but you likely have your own list, and I don’t think that mine would help. So much is wrong! To put it with nuance and sophistication: it truly so fucked up.
I’m the opposite of a nihilist. I’m not a person who thinks the world is too ruined to do anything. It is bad bad bad bad bad -- so, actually, there is a lot to do.
Maybe if I were on deadline, or someone (anyone! Lol) paid me to do this, I would say that the show must go on and I would string something together. Maybe it would be a nice distraction. That’s typically my inclination, actually; to move forward in earthly delights and to meditate on an object, on criticism and the interrogation of being well.
Today? I just feel like it doesn’t super matter if food is funny or if a restaurant brands as a school. I always say that being critical is a very good thing, if done in good faith, because it demonstrates respect and observation. The caviat? To do it right, the waters, so to speak, must be somewhat calm.
This week, the people I love graduate. I celebrate them. I consider commencement and education and teachers and academia. There’s so much I want to study, it overwhelms me. Today, I let it. Today, my work doesn’t stop. Already today, I’ve drafted menus and costed dishes out, cleaned shrimp and emulsified green garlic. I’ve made polenta and played around with a new tahini cookie that will be good, I think! Today, I ground coffee beans and throw the grounds away using my fingers. Today, I take a moment to lie about. First on my back, and then on my belly, considering my internal organs, trying to put pressure on them so that they detoxify more quickly. “Hurry up, you idiots!!” is what I tell them. We have things to do.
Tonight and tomorrow, surely, I’ll synthesize a way to hold all of these things at once. Today, I greet you with this insane light that happens at random times in my apartment. I’m packing up to move, and it illuminated my ceiling. I’m happy I looked up. I share it with you <3
TOMORROW (or maybe Saturday lol): WHY FOOD SHOULD NOT BE FUNNY! I shall be tough, but fair: p