Hi <3 Hope you are warm and well!
There are a number of dream jobs that I have had in my life. First, it was to be an actor (maybe triple threat??). Next, it was something likeā¦ wilderness educator. Now, when I am asked what I want to be (though I can never fully answer) it always has something to do with Being a Critic.
Though I try, as a human, not to be too Critical or to Criticize, my attraction towards thinking and noticing things hard means I have developed something of a *discerning eye*. Aka I really love some things a lot. As the holiday season approaches, I thought it might be nice to make a little moment of : SOME THINGS I THINK ARE REALLY GOOD.
Most of them are little life gifts that I give myself and that are nice to give each other.
I chose to categorize these by the chakras, because on this platform? No one can stop me :)
ROOT CHAKRA (safety/security/stability)
-I usually really hate winter, but I have recently discovered something interesting: it helps if you wear a lot of clothes. This, funnily enough, includes the introduction of a hat. They say that the head is the part of the body that needs to be warmed the most. I work through these revelations through testing and experimentation. I recently came across a hat I was given a long time ago, but never woreāand it is changing the game. It is a *commitment* but worth it, if you want to commit to feeling like the woman in The Automat. This, or probably any, shearling hat.
-I also just bought over-ear headphones for the first time. I am usually a wired headphone girlie, but I had been considering it for awhile and simply why not. I have found that, not only is the sound significantly better, there is incredible strange comfort in sealing off the ears and entering my own world. The ones I got are not particularly nice at all, but it feels like something of a life upgrade. The only problem is that the headphones, via Bluetooth, keep calling people without my permissionā¦ sorry boys!
SACRAL CHAKRA (creative + sexual energy/ reproduction)
-The color of the sacral chakra is orange and I have to tell you- orange in the winter is really doing something for me.
The first restaurant I worked at, we would make a citrus salad in winter and I was always somehow very moved by it. Grapefruits, Cara Caras, Valencias, and blood oranges, all de-pithed and cut with tiny knives into stars, decorated with olive oil, Aleppo, honey, and maldon salt. Stupidly easy, unbelievably cheerful.
Citrus is sometimes too acidic for me, but I have been trying to train my body to deal with it. Satsumas and Mandarins are lucky, and ginger warms it up.
Iāve promised myself that one day I will make Hoshigaki all over my little home ā in the meantime, I adore images of other people ,who know how to do, it doing it.
^gorg images from Bokksu and Wawaza
SOLAR PLEXUS (self-esteem, willpower)
The solar plexus lives in the center of the abdomen. In my pursuit of healing my belly problems (but also learning from them!) Iāve been told to use the app Nerva, which is an IBS-guided form of hypnotherapy. It is one of the strangest apps I have ever used, and honestly only time will tell if the meditations are working.
But the reason I mention this is that every day there are readings that are *deeply* informative about the physical body. Things I never knew! The small intestine! The parasympathetic nervous system! Stress cycles! One of the rare āwellness appsā that is not condescending or ā worse ā attempting to randomly be your friend. It is not, in fact, for the faint of heart.
Called out! Lol. But itās fun to learn about, at least for me :)
HEART (love <3 )
Thereās a very special moment in the movie Stutz where Jonah Hill and his therapist ā Stutz ā tell each other they love each other. Iām really not giving anything away by saying that, as the filmās premise is to introduce the world to Stutzā philosophy and technique, which has changed Hillās life. Iām a fan of psychoanalysis, kind old gents, and surfer boys, so of course I cried watching. Though the film is a little cheesy, it does echo undoubtedly with love.
You know what else I love?
When friends send me old pictures. Honestly! We only possess what is on our own camera roll, which means that we can attach to visual narratives to our pictures when we scroll through them on the subway without service, or even in our minds without realizing. When a friend sends me old pictures (thank you Heidi! Love you!), I get to retrieve something special.
THROAT (communication)
At the suggestion of a sweet friend on a wine-scented evening, I recently read How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel. It took about three hours, and not because I am a terribly fast reader ā because it had momentum of its own. I am late to this, as it premiered at the Vineyard Theatre in 1997 (Mary Louise Parker starred in it then and also its revival this past season!) but wow does it capture something. Namely the charged dynamics of precocious young women and older men. Compassionate and funny and troubling. Made me remember the movie An Education, a film I used to think about all the time and hadnāt thought about since I turned 25.Ā Ā
To ease any unsettling feelings that came from reading the play (which content warning is about grooming/co-ersion), I have been drinking tea with SO MUCH HONEY. I donāt know why people are inclined to go so easy on honey! I like Raw Honey, particularly Crystalās, because you can lick the spoon.
THIRD EYE (intuition and foresight)
One of my favorite things about the world right now is that everyone loves White Lotus. I like noticing my body contract while I watch, my sweatshirt suddenly over my face, my teeth buried in my fingernails. Also really love the discourse around Portiaās outfits.
^in some ways, weāre all little Portias.
The reason I mention it here: the show operates off of the fallacy of intuition ā the charactersā and our own. We get to watch the tension between reliance on self and environment in order to make decisions. The joy is in attempting foresight and submitting to the reality that it is likely weāre wrong. That feeling can be very familiar, and also liberating. Ā
Sometimes foresight means not getting in your own way. For a long time, Iāve done this weird thing where I will not buy formal kitchen appliances ā am randomly resistant to it. So while it is fun to only whip things by hand, it is also Masochism :) and Self Sabotage :)
I recently bought a rice cooker and a blender and two sheet trays. I am not going to tell you which ones because theyāre not that fancy or interesting. The brands I am loyal to: Le Creuset and Kitchen Aid. The point is, I was reasonable and made life a little easier for myself and honestly encourage us all to do the same.
CROWN (higher consciousness)
Okay, this isnāt closer to GOD or the UNIVERSE per-se, but I think that the restaurateur Keith McNallyās Instagram is a pretty amazing nexus of 2022ās contradictions. Wealth meets transparency meets chaos. First of all, zooming into the prose: an unhinged pleasure to read. Erratic, enthusiastic, eccentric, unfiltered.
McNally has always been complicated, with famous friends like Ghislaine Maxwell and Woody Allen. But also, love his crush on Dorinda Medley and love ā above all ā the way that the publishes the transcriptions of Managersā Notes to his Instagram. This is not usually done and though surely the performance is accompanied with a generous dose of flourish, there is something poignant and ultimately good, I think, about adding famous assholes (and the nice ones!) to the discourse. People behave so insanely in restaurants and this type of public record feels not only funny but important.
Otherwise, the most ethereal I have felt recently is listening, singing, and dancing (triple threat!!). Top three songs that have given me shivers:
First and foremost: two songs, āRibbonā and āTouchingā that my friend Sarah Grace White has released. They are intelligent and deeply vibey, dancing music and also staring out the window music. Brings me closer to a place that I like to be.
2. This, which will get in your head!, Lucius cover of āEverybody Wants to Rule the Worldā.
3. Alex Gās Ā āRunnerāāalways making me angsty and hopeful. Whatās closer to Higher Consciousness than that??
Okay, off I head to the bath, where I live most of winter. Okay please bundle up if itās cold and if not, get yourself a little treat! Thank you for doing this funny little meditation with me. xx